\nopagenumbers
\hsize=2.5in\raggedright
\hoffset=-.5in\voffset=-.985in
\hfuzz 0.25in
\def\amp{and}

\def\makecard#1#2#3#4#5#6#7#8{
\setbox#1=\hbox to 2.5in{\vbox to 3.5in{\vskip.2in\narrower
\hbox{\quad Handle: {\bf #2}}
\hbox{\phantom{\vrule.2in}}
\hbox{\quad Name: #3 (#4)}
\hbox{\quad Job: #5}
\hbox{\quad Role: #6}\vfill\noindent{\it``#7''}\vfill\noindent{#8}\vskip .2in}}
}

\def\dopage{\hbox{\vbox{
\hbox{{\box1}{\box2}{\box3}}
\hbox{{\box4}{\box5}{\box6}}
\hbox{{\box7}{\box8}{\box9}}
}}
\vfill\eject}

\makecard{1}{Wet Chicken}{Robert Kocher}{32}{Networking Specialist}{Flag Defender}{I'm old but I can't shoot.}{}
\makecard{2}{Cronic Blunt}{Leonard Casarez}{28}{System Admin.}{Sniper}{Hey, AaaAhHh yer shoe laces are untied.}{}
\makecard{3}{Tigger}{Herbert Castillo}{30}{Help Desk Mgr.}{Defense/Sniper}{Stick that in your active\goodbreak\noindent directory!}{}
\makecard{4}{Frisky}{Cheryl Shoupe}{33}{Wife~\amp~Mom}{Sniper/Flag Runner}{A loaded Minigun is all any girl really needs\dots }{}
\makecard{5}{Benny the Ball}{Mauro Scardigno}{28}{Asst. Dir. of Support}{Camp-Counselor/Redeemer Ho}{Have a hotdog\dots Roast a marsh\-mallow\dots  Sit down and relax for a while.}{}
\makecard{6}{Cougar1}{Brad Stiles}{46}{Senior Field Tech}{Sniper}{30.06\dots 190 grain\dots nutin' but head\dots (shots)!!}{}
\makecard{7}{Clawhammer}{Brennan Shoupe}{33}{Machinist}{Freelancer}{Frisky\dots Why is that motherboard smoking?}{}
\makecard{8}{Puma}{Kelly 'Krez' Smith}{29}{Asst. Dir. of Operations}{Sniper}{He who dies with the most toys, still dies!}{}
\makecard{9}{LunaTik}{Chris Tagle}{25}{Lab Proctor}{Freelancer/Defense}{SteP iN mY PaTh, Get A RocKet Up D Azz.}{}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{Toonces}{Steve Copold}{55}{Director of Info Resources}{Flag Runner}{Getting even for all the dead cats everywhere\dots }{}
\makecard{2}{Kat Man Douche}{Travis Moon}{32}{Computer Support Tech}{Freelancer/Defense}{Sufferin' Succatash!}{}
\makecard{3}{Fat-cat}{Raymundo Diaz}{23}{Systems Administrator}{Freelancer/Sniper}{Get in, get out, and let's go! Just like any other cheap date\dots }{}
\makecard{4}{Scar}{Joe Mendoza}{27}{Senior Repair Tech.}{Defense/Freelancer}{Think about it very carefully\dots }{}
\makecard{5}{Cat-dog}{Nino Avila}{24}{Systems Administrator}{Flag Runner}{Dead Cats are up, there's 5 minutes left in the match, do you know where YOUR flag is???}{}
\makecard{6}{Necro-ferret}{Eddie Palacios}{24}{Tech. Support}{Freelancer/Sniper}{You like it the way I give it, so just TAKE IT!!!}{}
\makecard{7}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
\makecard{8}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
\makecard{9}{Top Cat}{Graham Toal}{42}{UNIX Wizard}{Code Monkey}{Hey TC, it's Officer Dibble on the phone for you!}{Author of the GodCam Hack}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{4U2NV2}{Orlando Gomez}{28}{Student/HelpDesk Technician}{Freelancer}{Second place is the first loser.}{}
\makecard{2}{Cool Cat}{Felipe Recalde}{18}{Student/Helpdesk Tech}{Freelancer/Flag Runner}{Long live the penguins!}{}
\makecard{3}{Catfish}{Russell Vannoy}{27}{Network Engineer}{Flag Thief}{Don't worry, this will only hurt a little bit!}{}
\makecard{4}{Spot}{Jim Marks}{31}{Student/Computer Technician}{Freelancer}{Today is a good day to die!}{}
\makecard{5}{Zombie Woof}{John Gow 4th}{45}{Postal Hellraiser}{Sniper}{\dots there ain't no time to wonder why, whoopee\dots we all gonna die}{}
\makecard{6}{Anubis}{Brett May}{27}{Cable Technician}{Freelancer/Flag Runner}{Don't be afraid that your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.}{}
\makecard{7}{Pussnboots}{Sean Colwell}{34}{School Teacher}{Sniper/Defense}{\dots but I like to offend too!}{}
\makecard{8}{Osiris}{Matthew Sade}{22}{Technical Writer}{Freelancer/Sniper}{If you like, I'll shoot you in the front.}{}
\makecard{9}{Punisher}{Lester Lever}{23}{Database Designer}{Sniper/Defender}{I will punish you good\dots }{}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{Missing Lynx}{Ramon Saenz}{28}{Student~\amp~Lab Technician}{Flag Defender}{Can't shake the Shock!}{}
\makecard{2}{Mysterian}{Anne Toal}{41}{Dir. of Academic Computing}{Trouble Maker}{They're always after me lucky charms!}{}
\makecard{3}{Necrosiscat}{Daniel Zampino}{49}{Software Engineering Consultant}{Swiss Cheese Maker}{The stairway to heaven is now open.}{}
\makecard{4}{Primo}{Kris Groh}{21}{CS Student/Micro Support}{Defender}{No Comment}{Kris has set up his own UT server and will occassionally visit us at Stuffed Cats Inc.}
\makecard{5}{Hawk}{James Hawkins}{31}{Collection Manager}{Head Hunter}{To each his reach and if ya didn't get it, it wasn't yours to have.}{}
\makecard{6}{Jag}{Jeff Grantham}{37}{Bill Collector}{Flag Defender}{If you know it's there, grab it. If it's not there, go find it.}{}
\makecard{7}{Whiskers}{Mike/Jennifer Sutton}{31/30}{Programmer/Mother of six}{Sniper/Flag Defender}{Death has been swallowed up in victory - 1 Corinthians 15:54}{Mike and Jennifer are now devoting all of their attention towards faith and family.}
\makecard{8}{Suprquad4}{Chad Adkins}{19}{Student/Wrench-head}{Sniper/Freelancer}{Pedal to the Metal\dots Haulin' Balls\dots }{M.I.A.}
\makecard{9}{Sloppy Jane}{Danielle Lopez}{32}{Consultant}{Sniper/Flag Runner}{The bell tolls for thee!}{Danni has removed UT from her hard drive, but will always be welcome to return to the DC fold at any time she chooses.}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{Blackcat}{Fernando Martin}{20}{Student}{Defender/Freelancer}{I hunt; therefor I am.}{}
\makecard{2}{Agent Bongel}{Joshua Palmer}{23}{Database Analyst}{Freelancer/Defense}{Say hello to my little friend\dots }{}
\makecard{3}{9 Lives}{Chris Coleman}{30}{Truck Driver}{Defender}{Threats to the right of me, amigos to the left of me; Part of me is hellish, part of me is heavenly.}{}
\makecard{4}{Caterpillar}{Brett Sade}{27}{Transportation Specialist}{Sniper/ Flag Defender}{Don't pull out in front of the pillar.}{}
\makecard{5}{Gorenox}{James Hicks}{27}{Banker}{Defender/Flag Runner}{I don't know, Lugosi looks\goodbreak awfully old.}{}
\makecard{6}{Junior}{Hussain H. Karmally Jr.}{22}{Computer Sales Supervisor}{Sniper}{Head Shot!}{}
\makecard{7}{Sanecow}{Kumar Raman}{24}{Web Developer}{Flag Defender}{Here kitty! I've got a flag for you\dots `Head Shot'\dots}{}
\makecard{8}{Mr. Deadcat}{Abel Ramirez}{31}{Service Electrician}{Flag Defender}{You can take my flag, but you won't get far.}{}
\makecard{9}{Mr. Clark}{Njal Larson}{27}{Director of Technical Services}{Flag Runner}{I say we dust off and nuke the place from orbit\dots It's the only way to be sure.}{}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{Tack}{Danny McDuffie}{30}{Software Support Technician}{Freelancer}{Killing me won't do you any good\dots  \dots and it won't do me much good either.}{}
\makecard{2}{Gina}{Regina Knaggs}{41}{Housewife}{Defender}{Invade my realm\dots Prepare to die\dots }{}
\makecard{3}{Willer}{Justin McDavid}{27}{Courier Dispatcher}{Flag Runner}{After a gruelling day; you've run out of leaflets\dots It's Willer time!}{}
\makecard{4}{Chimera}{Carlos Muriel}{24}{Student/Office Manager}{Sniper}{I'm here to pass out suckers and ass-whuppings \dots and I'm fresh out of suckers}{M.I.A.}
\makecard{5}{Pure Rage}{Lance Hufstetler}{26}{Computer Technician}{Freelancer}{Kill'em all!}{}
\makecard{6}{Rocky}{Rick Knaggs}{53}{Resident Regional Manager}{Sniper}{Yo Adrian\dots Get the flag!}{}
\makecard{7}{Kampnkat}{Gabriel Thomas Garcia}{29}{Student/Research Assistant}{Point-Defense/Freelancer}{Don't gloat; I'll get you next time.}{M.I.A.}
\makecard{8}{Hairball}{John Leckie}{30}{AWACS Radar Technician}{Flag Defender}{Please\dots Try to take my flag.}{John is currently stationed in Germany and will be there with his AWACS squadron for the next three years.}
\makecard{9}{Cringer}{Robert Jarero}{22}{Student/Network Administrator}{Freelancer}{I killed you\dots again.}{Rob has temporarily retired from playing UT due to the time constraints that his very busy schedule places on him.}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{M.C. Escher}{Paul Schofield}{34}{Intranet Architect}{Defender}{Can't touch this!}{}
\makecard{2}{Meow Meow}{J. R. Mau II}{50}{SWA Reservations Agent}{Defender}{Uh\dots Is this thing turned on?}{}
\makecard{3}{Panthra}{George Honorable Jr.}{23}{Computer Technician}{Defender}{I come in peace\dots You'll leave in pieces.}{}
\makecard{4}{Feral}{Bruce Beverly}{34}{Attorney}{Sniper}{Don't underestimate me\dots  I will sneak up on you!}{}
\makecard{5}{Fusion Cat}{Dennis Sedov}{19}{Technical Director/Video Editor}{Sniper/Defender}{I'm on a seafood diet\dots  When I see food I eat it.}{}
\makecard{6}{G.Warrior}{Allen Mcendlli}{23}{Auto Parts Seller}{Defender}{Have no guns, have any gun\dots\goodbreak\noindent Your fate will be the same;\goodbreak\noindent death}{}
\makecard{7}{Scratch}{Nate Overstrom}{20}{Computer Artist}{Sniper/Defender}{This is MY litterbox!}{}
\makecard{8}{Alley Cat}{Doug Watson}{33}{Customer Service Analyst}{Freelancer/Flag Defender}{Kill them all and let God sort them out!}{}
\makecard{9}{Katz N Jammer}{Gary Standen}{42}{Systems Engineer}{Sniper/Head-Hunter}{Americonski, I see eyes\goodbreak in bottom of bag!}{}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{Stray}{Bryan Hartman}{32}{Software Developer}{Flag Runner}{Shut up and PLAY!}{}
\makecard{2}{Splatcat}{Ken Clark}{31}{Warehouse Manager}{Freelancer/Support}{Stand still so I can kill you dangit!!!}{}
\makecard{3}{Reno}{Tom O'Shea}{38}{IT Project Manager}{Flag Runner}{My head really hurts\dots No, really!}{}
\makecard{4}{Wildcat}{Emmanuel Sahulga}{30}{U.S. Mail Carrier}{Freelancer/Defense}{Misery or regret\dots\goodbreak You decide.}{}
\makecard{5}{Unholyoda}{Adam Savane}{27}{Novice Computer Builder}{Freelancer}{Nooooo! Not Puma again!}{}
\makecard{6}{Timmertie}{Tim Rappette}{37}{Ready Mix Concrete Driver}{Flag Runner/Defender}{Campers welcome!}{}
\makecard{7}{Caretaker}{David Dyche}{31}{Remodeler}{Flag Runner/Freelancer}{He who is exalted shall be humbled and he who is humble I (The Lord) shall exalt.}{David has now turned his attention to the golf links. It's certain that all golf balls are now in mortal danger.}
\makecard{8}{Bigt83}{Todd Nienkerk}{18}{CompSci Student/Web Designer}{Freelancer}{Timmy, come quick! Lassie's found something evil!}{M.I.A.}
\makecard{9}{At-tack Cat}{Brian Girouard}{26}{Mechanical Engineer}{Defender/Freelancer}{No Comment}{Brian has pulled back from UT for a while, but may eventually return to the Dead Cat fold.}
\dopage
\makecard{1}{Johnny}{John Shepherd}{16}{Student \amp~Son}{Cannon Fodder}{Here's Johnny!}{}
\makecard{2}{Stranger}{Katelyn Colwell}{7}{Student \amp~Daughter}{Flak Catcher}{Dad\dots~Why doesn't Mom like UT?}{}
\makecard{3}{Stomper Cat}{Dustin Shoupe}{12}{Student \amp~Son}{Cannon Fodder}{kids should not be seen or heard \dots~especially when they're sneaking up on a member of the other team.}{}
\makecard{4}{Fraidy Cat}{Jake Kocher}{8}{Student \amp~Son}{Bullet Magnet}{Don't mess with Texas or Mom and Dad!}{}
\makecard{5}{Pumpkin}{Jennifer Colwell}{4}{Daughter \amp~Little Sister}{Understudy Flak Catcher}{Dad\dots is it my turn now?}{}
\makecard{6}{BigCat}{Sean Lawrence}{12}{Student \amp~Son}{Practice Target}{Frisky\dots~What does this button do?}{}
\makecard{7}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
\makecard{8}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}
\makecard{9}{Cougar Too.}{B. A. Cougar Stiles}{9 months}{CardioStealthologist}{Evacuation\dots Mine not yours}{If my Daddy don't kick your butt\dots I will!}{}
\dopage
\end
